What Have I Done This Time?

OMG.
what have I gotten myself into?
that's the only question I have pertaining to EVERY aspect of my life right now it seems.
i don't know what the fuck I'm doing.


Presently I have 7 boxes of makeup in my room right now because I thought it'd be a GREAT idea to sell Mary Kay. I don't know the first thing about selling this stuff, and I feel so alone up here like it's all on me to figure it out. If this is how growing up and the real world is going to be, I don't want it at all. Don't get me wrong, I would rather be independent than anything else, but sometimes it'd be nice to have a guide just to get me on track and answer all these questions I have.

And then there's the boy problems. I never have really had problems before in the men department, but suddenly i do and it's weird. I didn't think innocent flirting over facebook would lead to some dude thinkin we're about to be together. IT"S FACEBOOK. you haven't met me, you don't know me, so stop trying to wife me and shit. DAMN. But at the same time, you're cool and all--I'm down to chill, but I'm not tryin to fuck you let alone date you. ahhhhh.

And then my dumb decisions of college permiscuity (I don't even think that's a word.) I need to not sleep with random boys. It's fun, no doubt, but one of these times I am going to get myself in BIIIIGGG trouble.

AND COLLEGE! What am I doing here? I'm having a grand ol' time, but I don't have the slightest clue why I am attending except to party and have good time and that's no reason to be wasting thousands of dollars a year on classes I don't care about. ugh so frustrating.

so, if someone could tell me why I make the decisions I do, please enlighten me because clealy, I don't have a clue.